Weekly Reflection, Week 2

Tonight for my entry, I offer my reflection that I turned in to Paul and my co-interns today. Enjoy and comment! 

            This week has been characterized by varying thoughts and emotions ranging from confidence to panic and airy contentment to maddening heartbreak. Some of the things that we saw and experienced this week were completely new for me. Before this week, I had never seen a “bald” cancer patient or someone so jaundice that total hepatic failure had to be right around the corner. It may go without saying, but this week has been a journey.  

            To be honest, I cannot pretend that this week has not been difficult. However, it has also been ironically rewarding. An analogy that I have used might be that our journey thus far has been like a weekend at a lake. One of my favorite things to do is tubing with a motor boat. I feel like the workshop was like picking out a bathing suit and learning how to snap together your life jacket. Last week, with Paul at the wheel, we hopped in the boat and surveyed the lake, or at least part of it. The mentored visitation might be when Paul got out on the tube and we watched him take the ride. On call training was like jumping into the cold water and realizing the depth and serious nature of our ministry. Luckily, my life jacket was securely fastened and much like wearing a life jacket and swimming out to the tube, it was uncomfortable, but possible. Finally, Thursday, going out on visits alone, felt like climbing on the tube, reviewing the safety signals, and taking a quick turn on the lake. I felt a net feeling similar to the fear and rush that one feels when tubing. I came away from this week feeling a little sore, but overall good and definitely stronger because of it.

            This week, God really put the story of the widow’s offering[1] on my heart. In this story, the rich of the community offer their gifts to the synagogue, but the widow’s two coins is the gift that Jesus not only sees, but honors as well. I identify with the widow this week. There have been opportunities for ministry in my past that came very easily and I felt that I had a lot of preparation and a lot to offer.  But this week, I felt like the widow. I had my two copper coins and I put them in the treasury of this ministry. I feel as though God has blessed the offering and done something with it. As long as I continue to give all I have, God will bless it. I suppose that one of my challenges this summer is to accept that in this weakness, God will be strong and make me stronger. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the summer will bring.

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[1] Luke 21:1-4

Week 2: Day 1

After a long weekend of relaxation and family fun, it was back to work this morning! Over the weekend we were asked to reflect on the reasons that we have done this internship and such answering three main questions: Who Am I? Why am I here? and What do I hope to gain from this summer? 

I split mine up into sub-categories and handed in a brief outline that I was able to flesh out in the discussion. I was inspired by my fellow interns and what they had to say on the subject. I personally identified with each of them in a specific way and I hope they did the same. I found that although we are very different, there are somethings that resonate with each of us in the others' personalities. Paul, our supervisor, gave great feedback on each of our goals and priorities. I can't wait to look back at the end of the summer and see how much I have grown and changed. 

Then we went to lunch at a place called Trevisio's that was AMAZING! I can't describe the experience to well because of my limited descriptive vocabulary, but it was SOOO good. Anyway, we had lunch. 

After that we headed down to MD Anderson and went for some visits. Again we went with Paul and he led the way. Paul took me into a room on a visit with a person that he had talked to before. Although we had to wear a gown and gloves and all that jazz, I found the visit very pleasant. Upon entering the room, one really has no idea what to expect, however, I found that the more I looked the patient in the eyes, the more I involved myself in the conversation, the less afraid I got. Perhaps it is in those moments when we want so badly to detach and run screaming from the room, we need to attach and allow ourselves to fully be in the room. I am not going to pretend that I didn't see the bags of IV fluid or the beeping machines and wires entangling the patient, but I found that I was truly able to concentrate on the patient. Perhaps she was dying. Perhaps she was sick (cancer and pneumonia). Perhaps she was hardly dressed and had been stripped of all control in her life. But she was living, that is for sure. Perhaps we should consider that she simply was. She was there. She was alive (the past tense is not meant to communicate a change in that capacity). It was enough. It is enough for God and for me that she simply was today. I don't know that it makes any sense, but I feel like that is my lesson from today. She was there and I was happy to see her. I was glad (and scared, but glad) to walk into her room for a short visit and a prayer and some discussion.

Tonight will be a good night to reflect and enjoy simply being. Perhaps that should go on my list of life goals. Everyday with my bowl of Wheaties, I will think to myself: Today I will be. 

(PS I don't really eat Wheaties)

Please comment and thanks for reading!!

First Visit

Let me start off this blog by recounting my facebook status from this evening. I think it sets the tone quite nicely: "Kate Huggins...has never felt this kind of pain...in her feet!" Today was long and not hard aside from the fact that I am breaking in my two pairs of shoes that I shopped for on Monday. 

We began our day with the unforeseen fieldtrip to the administrative building of the TMC *Texas Medical Center* where we received our badges for Anderson *MD Anderson Cancer Center*. To my surprise, I was adequately pleased with the second picture that the lady took. I had emo-bangs in the first, covering my eyes. I decide that even if the gothic look is "in" it might scare sweet little patients in the ped's (pronounced "peeds")*pediatrics* ward over there. After that we spent our classroom time discussion our verbatim reports through which we will explore each other's visits. Those are going to be tons of fun. I can see it now. I do think that they will be highly educational though. 

After our 3 hour lunch break (Paul had a meeting) and a drawn out meal at our new Chinese favorite, Magic Wok, we went to the Methodist Hospital and sat in the lobby for a while. It looks like a hotel lobby basically, so it wasn't too bad. We talked about ACU chapel and some other policies and Carter gave good insight into Pepperdine's methodologies about that. 

When Paul arrived from his meeting we trekked over to Herman *Memorial Herman Hospital* to make our first round of visits. This time, Paul did the talking and one of us at a time, walked into the room with him to observe. The patient that I saw was highly receptive to our presence although he was tired because he had been up for three hours straight (his longest yet). He was in the intermediate care facility so we just stayed for a few minutes. After the visit, I identified my emotion as "confident" because I saw that I can really do this stuff, after some more training of course. 

I am highly fatigued and in order to give my all tomorrow, I need to get to sleep. Again, thanks for all the support! Please leave comments!!

First Day of "Work" aka Passport and Welcome Week in One Unfriendly Package

Well, today was my first day in the "office" and "hospitals!" It was great to see how the rest of the summer is going to play out. We started the day with some doughnuts and meeting the office staff up at Lifeline. They are all super sweet. They asked us to leave them our preferences on food and beverages so that they could stock the kitchen for us.

Then we had our first meeting with Paul and we were graced with Virgil Fry's (Executive Director)'s presence for a few minutes. We talked through the summer and the schedule and expectations (hence the title of this entry).  We ate lunch at a little sandwich shop and slipped into the medical center just in time for my appointments with the two directors of the volunteer coordination for the two hospitals I have been assigned. I had 3 different tests throughout the course of the day, two about hospital policies after respective videos and lectures, as well as a TB test that is now on my arm. All three with good results (thus far) and relatively painless, I would say the day was a success. 

I am tired but not worn out, not yet anyways. Thanks for the support, messages, comments, calls, emails, and prayers. I couldn't do it without... viewers like you!

Party Time (numero uno)

Hi there! I didn't post last night because I was so tired when I got home I basically collapsed into my bed and stayed comfortably ensconced until the late hours of the morning. We had a great day though. 

We began with church at Bering Drive Church of Christ, where we were announced and welcomed gladly. However the attention of the congregation was turned toward the four graduating seniors. We didn't mind however, being that the senior bless provided a meal and a chance to get to talk together. 

Then we went and finished out our sessions of the workshop from 1-5. It was good and very informative, but I was very tired at the end of it. We talked about self-care and how being a chaplain works in and with your life. After that, Evan announced that there was going to be a party in honor of us finishing the workshop, but, naturally, we were in charge of throwing it ourselves. So we did. 

We headed back the the Fromberg's house where the boys changed into leisure clothes and after a short meeting in the "Bat-room" as they call it, we piled into Carter's Tahoe and went to my house. After a short tour, we determined that the best course of action was to go to the grocery store and buy some food to cook for dinner. 

Guys like to grill and so since I am the only girl, that is what we did. Some steak (Preston), brats (Carter and Evan) and hot-dogs (me), fresh corn, blackberries and ingredients for sopapilla cheesecake filled our cart and we headed to the Fromberg's to grill it up. 

However, because the grill at the Fromberg's is interestingly tempermental, we climbed into the bug and headed back to my house. We teamed up on the ingredients and bent them to our will quite deliciously. Preston told us all his great skill with dessert food and Evan taught us how to make satisfactory brats. After our meal, we headed back to the Fromberg's for a short swim (it was a little chilly). We messed around and had a good-time together. Right now I am supposed to be leaving for family dinner at the Fromberg's so I will leave it there. 

My first real day at work is tomorrow! Get excited!

Whew!

Today was the longest day of my life, oh, I mean the workshop. We got there at 9:00AM and left shortly before 9:00PM. It was a long day full of a lot of information that is hard to digest all together. I am not saying that I was discouraged, although what can you expect after a day of talking about death, dying, and grieving, but that is what I signed up for after all. 

We talked about things from death to illness, to grieving years later, to counseling the terminal patients and the ones that want to talk about the Astros game. We learned how to listen, how to perceive things, how to infer things and when to check those out. 

I am so tired and the brainwaves are becoming more and more shallow as I write this. If there is something that you are yearning to be praying for for me, it would just be that I and my co-interns, Preston, Evan, and Carter, would have the strength, energy, and vitality to finish this workshop and not become overwhelmed by what we are facing this summer. I find it easy to check out emotionally and stop caring, but that is contrary to our purpose as chaplains and students. 

Thanks so much for reading and please comment when you can!

Creating Healing Communities

Last night after I posted, I went back to my aunt and uncles and spent a fairly uneventful night with them. Flossie and Fielding (Preston, Evan, and Carter's hosts) and Preston came over to our house to watch the Office and were thoroughly entertained. Apparently they, Fielding and Flossie, aren't huge Office fans. Anyway, I watched an episode of House and called it a night. 

Today was passed by having breakfast with my aunt's Bible study group (sweet ladies) and then meeting Hailey for lunch and the return of my most valuable asset, my glasses. I had left them at her house. Nothing really happened until 5:30 or so when I went to the boys' house (by this I mean co-interns) and we set off for the Lifeline Building. 

We ate dinner from a place called Hungry's and got to know each other a little better. Oh, I forgot the best part, the 45 minute long car ride to the building. We passed Joel Olsteen's Church and laughed a bit about that. Anyway, we learned about loss and crisis tonight and the very first part of helping people through things. Really though, most of what I learned was that I knew nothing. This is okay though. I was surprised to learn how much this ministry depends on knowing yourself and dealing with your losses and grief before you council. I am sure there will be more on that to come. Upon my first foray into the murky waters of chaplaincy, I suppose that I didn't know just how deep this all goes. I suppose that is why people can do it for so long and are so blessed by the ministry--they allow it to go deep. More on that later. Thanks for reading. Keep the comments coming!

Life is a Highway...

Whew! It's hot here. Why didn't anyone warn me? Just kidding, I came with full knowledge of the terrific heat and her sister, humidity. It's really not that bad. I suppose I was being dramatic.

Well, I made it. I stopped in Waco for a night with Hailey Mueck and drove the rest of the way this morning. That made the 6 hours seem short and easy. I know friends who have driven a lot more to get to their destinations this summer. I am now at my grandparents house, soaking in the thought of having my own room now for 12 weeks before braving the terrors of communal living in Uruguay. I can't wait to get started.

Apparently, one of my co-interns is supposed to arrive in about 15 minutes to Houston and I am not sure if I am going to see him or not tonight. His host parents are out of town as well, so I have a feeling that our lonely houses might get to us at some point. I am going to my aunt and uncles to eat dinner. I met their pug Anja earlier. I think she is the first dog that I am not ashamed to say she is so ugly she almost passes for cute. I personally think that she looks like my uncle Bob, but my aunt protests when I say that. Also, her name is pronounced An-ya. Apparently, if you live in northern England, that makes sense. However, if not, it doesn't. I call her "An-ja-stasia" like the Romanov princess that was picked off with the rest of her family. Pronouncing "-ja" as in jaw like a real Texan. My aunt and uncle aren't real Texans, well, at least real west Texans. Anyways, more on Anja later I am sure.

I start my internship tomorrow with a three day workshop! I can hardely wait to get started. Good thing I have all day tomorrow to shop for more shoes. Welcome to the land of Panera and Macy's!!!!

First Entry

Hi there! This is the second in the series of my summer entries. I am happy to announce that I will be a Lifeline Chaplaincy Intern this summer. From what I had been told, I will be attending some sort of mysterious class in the mornings and making visits with our patients in the hospitals during the afternoons. The bleak halls that I will be helping in will be those of St. Luke's and Texas Children's Hospitals in the Medical Center in Houston, Texas. Per HIPPA and other regulations, I will not divulge any stories or names or anything of that nature. I am very excited to share my thoughts and feelings and the ways in which God is teaching me and stretching me. I can't wait to get started!

Tonight, I am still at home spending time with my friend Lacy and relaxing. Packing?, You ask? No. Not too much. Because I am not going 6,000 miles away without a Walmart, I am harshly tempted to assume that I have everything packed that (a) I cannot live without for a week, and/or (b) I cannot replace in Houston. I'll see how this whole "I have a walmart theory" works out! 

Thanks for reading, it will get more interesting soon...I promise!