So when in the course of human events it becomes necessary to spice up one's life a bit, most people would not choose the adventure I am embarking on now. I have decided that until spring break, I am not going to spend any money at all. This is only possible by generous gifts from my parents and some elderly folks that give money to ACU, but I am going to try it. Here are the conditions: No spending; no exceptions.
I am not going to pay for entertainment, gas, groceries, or to eat out. Reasons for this are multi-faceted and like I say, my meal plan at ACU and the fact that rent and bills for this month are taken care of allows me to try this. I just want to know how much I could save in two weeks by being super cheap. The current state of my pantry and fridge are as follows:
-half a block of cheddar cheese
-half a box of wheat thins
-milk
-bread
-peanut butter
-honey
-small amount of left-over pasta
-small amount of lunch meat
I have 10 meal plans a week so that will feed me breakfast and lunch during the week days. Other than that, I figure I will join my parents for dinner a couple of times between now and then and ration myself accordingly. If I run out of gas, I run out. If I run out of shampoo... (well, I stocked up on hygiene products before this week began). Anyway, this should be an interesting challenge just to see if I can remember that this is my commitment. That is why I share it with you, readers.
Out of all of the riches that I enjoy from the Father, I simply wonder how much I spend on frivolous things. Some things are obviously worth spending money on and some represent times of social and relational interaction. I hope and pray that this will help me see more clearly...well, something. I am not sure yet but I feel really motivated to try it. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.
The best thing about writing a blog is that I can pretend that I have someone(s) out there that really intensely care what I think about and what I am doing in my life. It gives me some measure of validation to know that there is a chance someone stumbles across this. Just saying.
Other than my "College Dream" life that I am living, I have found myself very conflicted this past week about decisions that I am having to make. I don't want to disclose exactly what I am talking about, but if you really know me, then you know what I am being confronted with.
Jeanine Varner, ACU's Provost, gave a speech at an event that I was at this past week. She talked about the words of a famous author to a young Walt Whitman. In this letter, the older mentor-like author wrote, "I greet you at the beginning of a great career." She said that that is how she feels about each of us at the assembly. I am not saying that I predict that I am going to have a fantastic career, but I do identify with being at the beginning. Whereas theoretically, all of my ducks would be in a row normally at this point, going to A&M and all, I can't help but feel like I am at a fork on a path.
I see it this way. I am in a great and tall forest with ACU (nearly) behind me and several paths stretched out before me. Before me, I can see the beginning part of each of them; though, they each turn, about two hundred feet in the distance. The paths shy away and hide what they hold beyond that certain point. I can tell that the each initially go different directions although, who knows? They could all very well converge or there could be switch over between them later on in the forest. I have to admit, I am taking inspiration from the great Frost, The Road not Taken. That is where I feel I am. Not an older person looking back on the paths, but having to look one path in the face and say, "I am not taking you. I have chosen something else."
As a person who tries very hard to live without regrets, I know that I must make good decisions now, ones that I can live with. What are the answers? Even less than that, how do I find them?
That question I can and will answer. I can only find them when I am focused on what God has given me. His word in scripture and voice in the people around me. With these things in mind, it is time to get started on this week.
Peace Brothers and Sisters.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Back in the Blogosphere
Ephesians 3:17-19 (New International Version, ©2010)
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
----------------------------
Hey there readers,
I haven't been able to write for a while. Well, not even that. I have chosen for the last little while not to write. So much has been going on and I have been so self-absorbed that it took over even my desire to fill the pages and/or screens of my life with anything meaningful. So many reasons and excuses came to my mind when I was deciding how to start this off: I've been too busy; I don't have the energy; time spend writing could be time spent in my personal relationships and all of that is true. However, I know that for my personal well-being, writing is a gift that I was given; a way in which to express myself and let things out that I feel. Once again, you may ask why, then, do I decide to blog my feelings? Why not keep a personal journal away from the prying eyes of the world? Well, for one, I have no reason to believe that anyone, aside from my mother and father and possibly grandparents, would want to read this. For two, I do a lot of advice seeking in my life and this is my way of tossing things out there for "the world" as it were, to give me feedback. I write this as a conversation...between you and me. Between God and me. Between anyone who has ears to hear (or eyes to read) and a simple person with something to say.
As many of you know, my life has been filled with very interesting and life-altering changes the past couple of years and especially the past couple of months. With medical school applications completed, family changes, and a man-friend in my life, the past year has been a roller-coaster of emotions and, well, really, quite epic by my proportions. It has made for an interesting climate in which to live my life. However, when I think about it. I am easily the most blessed person in the entire world. For one, I know Christ as my living Savior and have my life hidden in Him. Two, I have an amazing family and other communities and friends, like my roommates, with whom to discuss any and almost every aspect of my life. Three, I am blessed with an education and the ability to live comfortably and travel often. In these regards, and countless others, I am blessed beyond belief. I praise God for that. It is all to His glory.
Along those exact lines though, I feel that I am possibly the most spoiled person in the world too and that has made me rotten. I take things for granted. I live for the next moment and not the present. I fail people and know that they are going to still love me when they really don't have to. I suppose that over the past couple of days, I have been convicted once more of the ways that my soul has been starving. Starving for honesty and confession of things that I shouldn't do like complain and take things for granted. I am far from perfect and strive for my life to be His by an ever-increasing degree.
Why do you think it is, readers, that EVERY time I write, I am called back to the fundamental truth and goodness of God? Why is it that at the root of all of my joy and anguish I find this same longing for God? Truly, writing and listening are God's way of calling me home. Reminding me that I am blessed and his beloved. I hope and pray that all people, believers and unbelievers the same, may find that place where God grabs you by the collar every time and yanks you into the air. That place where he pulls you in, wraps his arms around you, and tells you that you are loved. And just like that, you know the mercy and grace and depth of the True God's love for His creation. (Sorry for the lack of gender neutrality when referring to God Almighty.)
Peace, brothers and sisters.
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
----------------------------
Hey there readers,
I haven't been able to write for a while. Well, not even that. I have chosen for the last little while not to write. So much has been going on and I have been so self-absorbed that it took over even my desire to fill the pages and/or screens of my life with anything meaningful. So many reasons and excuses came to my mind when I was deciding how to start this off: I've been too busy; I don't have the energy; time spend writing could be time spent in my personal relationships and all of that is true. However, I know that for my personal well-being, writing is a gift that I was given; a way in which to express myself and let things out that I feel. Once again, you may ask why, then, do I decide to blog my feelings? Why not keep a personal journal away from the prying eyes of the world? Well, for one, I have no reason to believe that anyone, aside from my mother and father and possibly grandparents, would want to read this. For two, I do a lot of advice seeking in my life and this is my way of tossing things out there for "the world" as it were, to give me feedback. I write this as a conversation...between you and me. Between God and me. Between anyone who has ears to hear (or eyes to read) and a simple person with something to say.
As many of you know, my life has been filled with very interesting and life-altering changes the past couple of years and especially the past couple of months. With medical school applications completed, family changes, and a man-friend in my life, the past year has been a roller-coaster of emotions and, well, really, quite epic by my proportions. It has made for an interesting climate in which to live my life. However, when I think about it. I am easily the most blessed person in the entire world. For one, I know Christ as my living Savior and have my life hidden in Him. Two, I have an amazing family and other communities and friends, like my roommates, with whom to discuss any and almost every aspect of my life. Three, I am blessed with an education and the ability to live comfortably and travel often. In these regards, and countless others, I am blessed beyond belief. I praise God for that. It is all to His glory.
Along those exact lines though, I feel that I am possibly the most spoiled person in the world too and that has made me rotten. I take things for granted. I live for the next moment and not the present. I fail people and know that they are going to still love me when they really don't have to. I suppose that over the past couple of days, I have been convicted once more of the ways that my soul has been starving. Starving for honesty and confession of things that I shouldn't do like complain and take things for granted. I am far from perfect and strive for my life to be His by an ever-increasing degree.
Why do you think it is, readers, that EVERY time I write, I am called back to the fundamental truth and goodness of God? Why is it that at the root of all of my joy and anguish I find this same longing for God? Truly, writing and listening are God's way of calling me home. Reminding me that I am blessed and his beloved. I hope and pray that all people, believers and unbelievers the same, may find that place where God grabs you by the collar every time and yanks you into the air. That place where he pulls you in, wraps his arms around you, and tells you that you are loved. And just like that, you know the mercy and grace and depth of the True God's love for His creation. (Sorry for the lack of gender neutrality when referring to God Almighty.)
Peace, brothers and sisters.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)