Ephesians 3:17-19 (New International Version, ©2010)
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
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Hey there readers,
I haven't been able to write for a while. Well, not even that. I have chosen for the last little while not to write. So much has been going on and I have been so self-absorbed that it took over even my desire to fill the pages and/or screens of my life with anything meaningful. So many reasons and excuses came to my mind when I was deciding how to start this off: I've been too busy; I don't have the energy; time spend writing could be time spent in my personal relationships and all of that is true. However, I know that for my personal well-being, writing is a gift that I was given; a way in which to express myself and let things out that I feel. Once again, you may ask why, then, do I decide to blog my feelings? Why not keep a personal journal away from the prying eyes of the world? Well, for one, I have no reason to believe that anyone, aside from my mother and father and possibly grandparents, would want to read this. For two, I do a lot of advice seeking in my life and this is my way of tossing things out there for "the world" as it were, to give me feedback. I write this as a conversation...between you and me. Between God and me. Between anyone who has ears to hear (or eyes to read) and a simple person with something to say.
As many of you know, my life has been filled with very interesting and life-altering changes the past couple of years and especially the past couple of months. With medical school applications completed, family changes, and a man-friend in my life, the past year has been a roller-coaster of emotions and, well, really, quite epic by my proportions. It has made for an interesting climate in which to live my life. However, when I think about it. I am easily the most blessed person in the entire world. For one, I know Christ as my living Savior and have my life hidden in Him. Two, I have an amazing family and other communities and friends, like my roommates, with whom to discuss any and almost every aspect of my life. Three, I am blessed with an education and the ability to live comfortably and travel often. In these regards, and countless others, I am blessed beyond belief. I praise God for that. It is all to His glory.
Along those exact lines though, I feel that I am possibly the most spoiled person in the world too and that has made me rotten. I take things for granted. I live for the next moment and not the present. I fail people and know that they are going to still love me when they really don't have to. I suppose that over the past couple of days, I have been convicted once more of the ways that my soul has been starving. Starving for honesty and confession of things that I shouldn't do like complain and take things for granted. I am far from perfect and strive for my life to be His by an ever-increasing degree.
Why do you think it is, readers, that EVERY time I write, I am called back to the fundamental truth and goodness of God? Why is it that at the root of all of my joy and anguish I find this same longing for God? Truly, writing and listening are God's way of calling me home. Reminding me that I am blessed and his beloved. I hope and pray that all people, believers and unbelievers the same, may find that place where God grabs you by the collar every time and yanks you into the air. That place where he pulls you in, wraps his arms around you, and tells you that you are loved. And just like that, you know the mercy and grace and depth of the True God's love for His creation. (Sorry for the lack of gender neutrality when referring to God Almighty.)
Peace, brothers and sisters.
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