Now I Can Feel It

Life goes on as normal. I suppose. For me that is. Life of my patients is a whole different issue. One seemingly filled with land-mines and hidden traps along the way. I don't mean to sound depressive. I am in no capacity depressed but I am rocked by the world that I live in right now. Who wouldn't be.

I have had a patient all the time that I have been here. I have walked through the ups and downs with him and his family. Right now, we are on a down. A major down. I have come to see just how important a chaplain's presence can be. I suppose that keeps me going in a non-self-absorbed way. I keep going because I know that somehow, God is making a difference through me.

I miss camp. I miss being with kids and having them around to lift my spirits and remind me that life goes on. Visits in my normal rounds are interesting, but I am coming to realize that there are things that I enjoy more and things that I steer away from. Some conversations are cut off. Some I cut off because I am uncomfortable. Now that I recognize that, perhaps I can look deeper into those conversations are rethink my aversion. I'll let ya know how that goes.

As far as more personal growth and change go, I have nothing more to offer. I think this summer is changing me beyond what I could ask or imagine. It is His power that works within me and I am realizing how this power cannot be stifled by anything I do except for ignore it. That's simply not an option. I hope that I don't ever try to do that. I can imagine the effects would be irreparable.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. I feel them. I feel everything these days! :)