This week has been characterized by varying thoughts and emotions ranging from confidence to panic and airy contentment to maddening heartbreak. Some of the things that we saw and experienced this week were completely new for me. Before this week, I had never seen a “bald” cancer patient or someone so jaundice that total hepatic failure had to be right around the corner. It may go without saying, but this week has been a journey.
To be honest, I cannot pretend that this week has not been difficult. However, it has also been ironically rewarding. An analogy that I have used might be that our journey thus far has been like a weekend at a lake. One of my favorite things to do is tubing with a motor boat. I feel like the workshop was like picking out a bathing suit and learning how to snap together your life jacket. Last week, with Paul at the wheel, we hopped in the boat and surveyed the lake, or at least part of it. The mentored visitation might be when Paul got out on the tube and we watched him take the ride. On call training was like jumping into the cold water and realizing the depth and serious nature of our ministry. Luckily, my life jacket was securely fastened and much like wearing a life jacket and swimming out to the tube, it was uncomfortable, but possible. Finally, Thursday, going out on visits alone, felt like climbing on the tube, reviewing the safety signals, and taking a quick turn on the lake. I felt a net feeling similar to the fear and rush that one feels when tubing. I came away from this week feeling a little sore, but overall good and definitely stronger because of it.
This week, God really put the story of the widow’s offering[1] on my heart. In this story, the rich of the community offer their gifts to the synagogue, but the widow’s two coins is the gift that Jesus not only sees, but honors as well. I identify with the widow this week. There have been opportunities for ministry in my past that came very easily and I felt that I had a lot of preparation and a lot to offer. But this week, I felt like the widow. I had my two copper coins and I put them in the treasury of this ministry. I feel as though God has blessed the offering and done something with it. As long as I continue to give all I have, God will bless it. I suppose that one of my challenges this summer is to accept that in this weakness, God will be strong and make me stronger. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the summer will bring.
Wow Kate! I am amazed at how you can take a seemingly simple analogy and develop it so richly to communicate your feelings and experience. I am enjoying hearing it all! Love ya girl!
ReplyDelete~Dara